Altered Playing Cards and old Tuscany!!

Altered playing cards. Charms, recycled bird images, wool, recycled garlic bag netting, paint and a postage stamp.

Wow, this has been a looooong drought. Nearly 3 months to the day since I last posted actual collage and paint art. If your memory needs a little refreshing too you can see it here!

To begin with I didn't actually care that the urge to create had unexpectedly deserted me. I trusted it would come back again...although its taken a little longer to do so than I would have thought and I don't even know why! I enjoyed mucking about with these playing cards today....I hope it is the start of a new and wonderful journey, even if it is a journey of re-discovery.

I haven't touched the old Tuscany painting, (which became "quilt of the land" when it was re-incarnated) in even longer. To start off with my lack of motivation came from the cold. The paint didn't blend well and I stopped attempting to make it. Poor excuse I know but I kinda ran outta creative gas! This is where I left it (and I have only just photographed it!) It's basically finished. An afternoon or 2 spent touching it up and straightening the odd line and its all done. The words 'speak to your mountains' is about facing our challenges/addictions/psychological hang ups head on. For those of you who witnessed my struggle with the first Tuscany and subsequent roller coaster road you will know how apt these words are for me personally. I don't think I would sell this one even if I had an offer for it, I have quite a lot invested in this piece and its very much part of me!

Quilt of the land

Well, I've been on a bit of a emotional roller coaster lately with my painting.

At times I love painting...the actual act of painting when it's going right is addictive and empowering. Other times I just can't seem to get it right and I think I'm not really cut out for it after all. Yesterday I had the sudden desire to go out to the garage and paint something really, really well. I wanted to paint something that would, quite honestly, take my own breath away. I didn't go out as it was close to midnight and very cold in the garage- not conducive to good health or good painting! I woke up knowing I would paint today and couldn't wait to get out there and start and when I went out to add to the former Tuscany painting (Now Quilt of the Land) I looked at

my previous effort (directly above this line of text) I suddenly realised that my last effort wasn't as good as I had remembered! I had been quite happy to glide along almost aimlessly with this painting. I'd been very happy to just see how the paint flowed. I was happy with my colours blending into each other without much structure and no real discipline. I looked at the art of a pastelist yesterday and she was really, really good. She had complete control of her medium and she produced beautiful pictures. When I looked at my painting today I realised that in order to paint something well I had to take ownership of it and be the master of my paint. On reflection it does seem a little airy-fairy to have been willing to let lead me.
Instead of covering new ground I spent a lot of time correcting old lines, making colour changes and in general painting this 'quilt of the land' better than what I had done previously. I'm amazed at how much a little streak of paint the wrong colour in the wrong place can affect a painting and the same is true for well placed paint.

Today I went to an Art Exhibition and I was asked if I wanted to join the Tauranga Society of Artists. Now before you go and get all chuffed on my behalf I need to point out that this was purely on the basis of the fact that I am an artist and no one there has actually seen my work. I also need to point out that I politely said 'no thankyou.'

Why?? That would be a good question. Ultimately I think it's because I'm not where I want to be an artist. I haven't quite found my voice yet. To say I painted something really well, or to have others say it is fantastic. I still get satisfaction from seeing my final Tuscany, I painted it well if I may say so myself!! Lol and I still get great feedback on it, these comments feed me, they really do and I need them and because it helps me to know that the painting has made a connection with the viewer and that it has become more than decorative...it's become a piece of art. Funny how a lot of people have tried to tell me that it wasn't just decorative (when I say it's only decorative) yet I've only just realised it...It makes the painting seem less shallow and materialistic to me. Yet, it's not enough what I really want is to be able to express things with paint the way I can with collage and to address subjects that really matter to me...when I've done that I will be where it is I want and need to be. I don't know if I will be a society kind of girl though...

I will finish this painting, it expresses my love for this earth and it's teaching me important lessons about myself. This love affair with pain,t as I am realising, truly is for better or for worse.

PS: My apologies for the cruddy photos, the light was poor and my camera's had it's day.